Monday, 31 March 2014

Addiction and Anxiety

I sat and scratched my scalp-smiling grimly when it dawned on me how much of my hair had fallen out.

It began suddenly as the hour dawned.

It seeped through me and ran through my veins. 

It was a like a bucket of cold water drenching me to the skin,a tightness in my chest.

Dry skin,flakes falling off when i scrached at the scabs-the sores and the cuts.

The blood clotted nails. 

Cutting myself to make something perfect,out of imperfect nothingness.

Pain is moot. For the point is for it to take over,make me forget.

Hugging my knees to my chest,as I rocked back and forth.

Struggling against the wave of nausea and being left overwhelmed.

Confusion encircling and numbing my entire thinking process.

The tears that come out of nowhere and stayed. 

Stuck and smothered in my own abyss.

I feel her easing me as I took her in. 
Needl-ed right into my blue arm.

She kissed me and made me her own,addicted to my poison,lest i fought and let my anxiety take over.

Stuck between a rock and a hard place-I strive for a day when it will ease.