Astral projection

She floated away sans feelings,after all,she had a plan.

Feelings left her exhausted for she felt fully. She felt it all the way to her bones. 

The misery that came along with it or after it in case it was a high was palpable.

She had resolved to move away from the pain.

This time,it will work for the dose will be just right.

She lay down calmly after injecting herself.

Any moment,now.

She waited till she felt a weight lift off  her. She was floating right above herself.

Insulin shock induced astral projection,she had managed. 

The irony was that even though she reckoned that she would be above worldly feelings,it was not the case.

The pain ebbed and flowed. 

She screamed after the loneliness got to her but there was no one to hear her screams on this plane.

In her hurry to be relieved,she did not learn that revival could only be done by another.

She moved after days of insanity and when she could not bear to look at herself any longer.

She broke the shiny thread,connecting her to her body. Died.

Moved past it all and tried to find more.

Find,she did. All the people she had lost but her love-who could not her's there- lay down there.

So,she imbibed her essence in his dreams and urged him to come and be with her.

He followed suit by ingesting a poison.

Lo and behold they met and embraced.

Ramblings of a Dark Day

Always wishing for death,when things a little rough.

What has life turned me into?

Always running for cover in a confrontation or turning my back,in toto?

Life turned me into a coward.

Cowardice emerged after i lost all sense of security.

What has life done to me?

Is therapy the way to go?

Lest,it unravels me and makes me flip completely.

How will i reach out of this abyss?

Tried and tried again and will keep trying till I can no more.

Grateful,i am and should be but why do i still want death when the smallest things go awry.

I talk to myself and reason.. Step ahead but i seem to fall back.

Death might not be an answer but it can very much be.

Are you really ready to trade in everything for a toss?

Just for some peace,i want it. Desperately.

I want to be high just so that i can let go of all the pain and anger.

Will it be being obnoxious to a someone if my anguish comes to me,time and again?

Being happy is a choice,one needs constant reminders.

But when an emotions overwhelm you to the point of madness.

Pent up anger for violation,ignominy and insecurity.

Perhaps,am just weak.

High-for today.

Death,is for another day. I sigh and trudge along.

Anger

How can one let go of pent up anger against a person?

The easiest answer that would come onto everyone's lips would be-talk to them,forgive them,let it go.

I know the adage regarding revenge-poisoned chalice-but i would love to draw an analogy with pent up anger.

It currodes your very being. You react rather than respond. You lash out when none is necessary.

You stew in your own filth,that is anger.

I guess,the healthy thing to do here would be to talk to the person in question but what if that person will lash out and perhaps and try hurt you after hearing your side. Irrationality and the knack to yell being their perfect response and you are the kind of person who dies as soon as someone starts yelling.

Is it healthy to aggaravate a dormant situation just in order to calm the fuck down?

What if the relationship is deemed as important?

How much hatred do you feel for yourself when you realise that perhaps,all the year of anger and thoughts surrounding the subject have caused you to be more like it?

How can you start loving self again?

Zapped

She zapped around on her broom

Awaiting her prince. Till she decided

To conjure one.

Yatch

He sat on his yatch,alone

Dream fulfilled. Yet, a strange

Emptiness engulfed him. 

Xanax

She popped a Xanax and tried to go back to sleep. 

The screamings started as soon as she closed her eyes-startled,she sat up. 

Sweat had broken on her brow. 

The rational part of her tried to reason with her-it is ok to sweat when you hear a dead person's voice,you were not at fault. It happened. You need to move on. 

A morbid smile crept to her lips,move on from what?

To what?

Her eyes glazed over. It was time. 

This hour came everyday and passed into oblivion till the next day. 

She drifted in the interweaving period.

How could she move on from killing someone?

How will she ever overcome this?

What was her purpose?

This and many other questions plagued her as she sat and wept beside her own grave. 

Wellness

Wellness of her being,lay with him.

She wept when she went away.

Wept again,albeit with joy when she returned to his arms.

Her world was him. 

This made her afraid.

She had finally found her fear and it befuddled her. 

Her passion for one made her see reason in everything she did.

She reasoned and tried but ultimately knew that loving someone so deeply would bring forth a vulnerability but instead of mistakenly taking it as her weakness and shunning it.

She revelled in him,being her strength and source of energy and light.